


goodnight, my dream

by thefullergirl



Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Domestic, Fluff, M/M, Pining, slightly angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:21:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22243999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefullergirl/pseuds/thefullergirl
Summary: Hangyul has missed him, more than he dares to admit.
Relationships: Kim Wooseok | Wooshin/Lee Hangyul
Comments: 8
Kudos: 48





	goodnight, my dream

Hangyul’s phone pings with a new message. He stops walking, sidling up to a storefront to take out his phone and check the text.

**_Gyul?_ ** it reads. Hangyul hasn’t heard nor read that in a few days. He kind of misses it. 

**_Yeah?_ ** he replies. Once it’s sent, he looks up at the people passing by, a blur of color and faces. He was never really one to wear a mask when he goes out, but it’s sort of a relief that people don’t seem to recognize him, even for a few moments.

His phone pings again.  **_Can you come over?_ **

It’s been months, yet even something like that still makes his heart flip. God, he’s embarrassing. He looks at the words over and over, making sure they were real, before tucking his phone back into his pocket and starts walking to a place he’s gotten too familiar with.

Passing buildings and crowds busy with their holiday shopping, Hangyul can feel his heartbeat race. He doesn’t quite remember the last time he did this, and he can’t deny how excited he is. The last time was all too quick, he knows.

Hangyul arrives in nearly no time. His face is now covered with a mask, his hoodie pulled up and obstructing most of his features. Can’t risk anyone finding out. Sending a quick text, he looks up at the dark windows of the apartment building. He knows that it won’t take long for him to reply.

And he’s right. The answer comes less than a minute later, and Hangyul sees the lights go on in one of the windows. It doesn’t take long for the front door to unlock either, and Hangyul rushes inside.

“I hope no one saw-” he starts to say, before he’s cut off by a pair of arms wrapping around him. Hangyul can’t help the little smile that spreads across his face, even as he knows that the other man won’t see. It’s already dark in the hallway since he assumes everybody here is already asleep, and he wishes that his traitorous blushy ears won’t be visible.

“It barely matters now,” Wooseok whispers into Hangyul’s coat. “I don’t care anymore.”

Hangyul embraces him back, enveloping his smaller frame in his. He feels Wooseok burrow his face into his neck, breathing him in like his life depends on it.

They stay like that for who knows how long. It was just nice to have those moments of silence, with just their breathing and the contented little smile that Hangyul could feel against his neck. He doesn’t know when he last felt like his heartbeat sync with Wooseok’s so perfectly, he doesn’t know when he’s last felt this safe. All he knows is the way the other man fits in his arms, and how they could stay just like that forever if they could.

Wooseok soon suggests that they go up to his room, breaking the embrace momentarily. His hand slides into Hangyul’s like it always does, and he leads him up ever so quietly. Even in the dark, Hangyul knows exactly how to go there, but he lets himself be led.

Reaching the room, Wooseok fumbles a little with the key before opening the door. The tiny spare apartment is in a rundown building, probably older than Hangyul is. Wooseok stays here when he just wants to escape for a while, leave the world he knows behind and just exist in his own space. 

The first time Hangyul came here, he was surprised that Wooseok would even choose a place like that. It barely had space for much else other than a bed and maybe a tiny table, and everything looked so bare. He remembers the heater being busted the first few times. The whole space was a far cry from his room at their dorms, and so far from what Hangyul expected Wooseok would settle with. 

But over a few months, Wooseok had fixed it up bit by bit. The bed frame wasn’t creaking, and the bed was at least decent, filled with pillows. They could have breakfast (or in their case, coffee) at the table now, before they went back to the dorms. A proper heater was installed, so it was cozy in there. Wooseok even made a little nook by the window, so he could watch the snowfall or let the sunshine bathe him in light.

If he was going to be honest, Hangyul didn’t quite know why he was brought here in the first place. To be shown such a tucked-away, private part of Wooseok’s life, well, he didn’t know how to react. 

The first time, Wooseok had pulled him away from everything momentarily, saying that they should go out for a walk. He was suddenly led to here, and he was so confused at first. However, he chose not to question it, looking at how Wooseok just sat on the threadbare mattress and closed his eyes.

That night, Wooseok talked about all sorts of things, like their hectic schedules and how much he missed his mom and the kids arguing over a game. Hangyul listened to every word, catching every little smile and chuckle. There was exactly one functioning lamp in the apartment that night, and its faint light made Wooseok glow, somehow.

Both of them went back to the dorm like nothing happened. It was late, and barely anyone was still awake, exhausted from their activities. Wooseok had mumbled a little “thank you” before disappearing into his room. Seungyoun raised his eyebrows at Hangyul when he entered their room, but said nothing. It was like any other night.

But it kept happening. They would steal away when they could, just staying there in the tiny room, talking or even sometimes, just existing with each other in the space. Hangyul found comfort in it too, those moments of peace in the cramped room.

Of all the things he remembers about this place, he remembers the first time Wooseok became touchy. It wasn’t entirely common with him, as he realized throughout the months. But that night, everything shifted.

They had been under a lot of stress, and Wooseok had stayed strong all that time. He never quite let himself be affected, powering through everything. Wooseok held not only himself together, but he made sure everyone else held on as well.

That night though, Hangyul heard a knock on the door of his shared room. Seungyoun was already asleep in the other bed, and Hangyul took care in making sure he didn’t wake up as he opened the door. He was met with Wooseok on the other side, looking at him with eyes that screamed of exhaustion.

Hangyul didn’t need to be told anything else.

They were barely in the tiny apartment when Wooseok crashed into his arms. Hangyul was thrown off balance for a bit, before steadying himself. He was hesitant to embrace him as well, then realizing that it would probably be best to do it. Nevertheless, he carefully wrapped his arms around Wooseok, just in time before the other man started to cry. He’d never seen him like that, always saw him as the strongest among them. 

If he was going to be honest, it broke his heart a little.

That night, Hangyul held Wooseok until he fell asleep, mumbling lullabies he used to sing to the kids at the orphanage. Both of them didn’t care about whether or not they will be reprimanded in the morning. It didn’t matter.

Even as they both pretended that nothing happened once they were back to the dorm, that night changed everything.

Since then, every night here was spent in each other’s arms, sometimes talking, mostly silent. Neither talked about it outside of the four walls of the apartment, so no one had the slightest clue.

But here, they were safe. With each other, they felt like it would all be okay.

Now, Wooseok sits on the bed, tucking his legs under him. Hangyul follows after he’s hung up his coat, sitting down beside him. Wooseok takes his hands, squeezing them comfortingly.

“It’s been a while,” Wooseok says, his hands trying to warm up Hangyul’s. Hangyul nods, almost shying away from the way the other man looks at him. After all this time, he still can’t look at him straight.

They’re silent for a while more before Wooseok prompts, “How are you, Gyul?”

The nickname makes his chest tighten. “I’m okay,” he answers, pausing Wooseok’s motions so that he can lace their fingers together. “Took the kids out today. They enjoyed.”

Even without looking, Hangyul could feel Wooseok’s soft smile. “You’re so good with them. Thank you.”

“They matter a lot to me,” he says. It’s true. He’d do whatever he could for them protect them until the end. He knows Wooseok feels the same.

And as always, they fall into a comfortable silence. There need not be more words between them, not here. No matter how much it seems like they bicker on screen and on stage, here, they are quiet.

It doesn’t take long before Wooseok goes over to him, settling between his legs. Wrapping his arms around Hangyul and resting his head on his shoulder, Wooseok lets out a sigh. He’s recently liked embracing like that, and Hangyul thinks he’s almost cat-like whenever he does it. Wooseok would probably purr if he could.

Hangyul holds him steady whenever he does that, enveloping him with his arms to bring him closer. This close, he could easily let Wooseok’s scent wash over him. He smells like clean linen and sleep, like a home he wants to come back to. Oh, how he wants to bury himself in that scent.

Wooseok is whispering to him, sweet, drowsy things. He feels Wooseok’s soft lips on his skin, feels his warm breath. How he missed that feeling. They couldn’t find an opportunity to go here again, but now that they were here, it almost ached a little.

Hangyul wasn’t quite sure how he was supposed to feel about the whole thing. At first, he was grateful that he was trusted like that, when no one else could possibly know about this whole thing. But as time went by, the more he held the other man, the more he witnessed his smile and the way his eyes lit up when he told stories, the more confused he got. It was supposed to be simple, right? It was just two friends finding comfort in each other. 

Right?

For a while, he felt scared to go back here. He knew every nook of it too well. He knew how the mattress felt, he knew how it was like to wake up next to Wooseok (by the way, Wooseok was still pretty in the mornings. It was unfair). Hangyul knew far too much, but he didn’t know if he should be careful or not.

What was he so scared for? How could he mess it up?

He thinks of the man currently in his arms, snuggled up to him like he’s his home. Wooseok, who wasn’t clingy with him before, now almost unable to tear himself away. Wooseok, ever strong and nearly unshakeable to the outside world, sagging tiredly in his arms. Wooseok, who’s so beautiful it makes Hangyul’s heart hurt.

Pulling away gently, Wooseok uses his fingers to push Hangyul’s hair away from his forehead. He always does this, Hangyul has noted. Wooseok always looks so focused when he does.

“What?” he asks, the beginnings of a smile on his lips. Wooseok doesn’t even look directly at him, still brushing his hair away from his face.

“Nothing,” he answers absently.

“Do you like my face that much?” Hangyul questions teasingly. This makes Wooseok glare at him a little, but he sees a little smile on his mouth as well.

“You really want to believe that?” Wooseok counters, raising his eyebrows and tilting his head at him. 

Hangyul chuckles at this. “Of course. I know you have the  _ biggest  _ crush on me.” 

Wooseok slaps him playfully, starting to laugh. “Wow, you’re so sure of that, huh?”

Flashing his best shit-eating grin at him, Hangyul says, “Yes, I am. Bet you’ve thought about kissing me.”

Rolling his eyes at him, Wooseok shakes his head. “You’re insufferable.”

“No, you think I’m  _ adorable, _ and you just don’t want to admit it,” Hangyul teases, pouting. He sees Wooseok full-on laughing.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He mocks a kissy face at Wooseok. Hangyul knows he’s toeing a dangerous line, but he’s too into their teasing to care.

Still, though, it doesn’t prepare him for Wooseok,  _ the  _ Kim Wooseok, leaning in to peck him on the lips.

He’s too in shock to respond. Hangyul sits there, mouth agape and staring at Wooseok. The other man smirks at him, shaking his head.

“You’re right,” he says, and Hangyul still can’t process it. “You’re adorable. And I  _ have  _ thought about kissing you.”

And Hangyul, poor him, still can’t seem to respond. His heart is beating fast, and his hands become slack at Wooseok’s sides. The other man starts to get worried.

“Was that not okay? I’m sorry if I just did that-”

“No,” Hangyul finally says, finding the words. “It was-it was okay. I was...surprised, that’s all.”

Wooseok raises a brow at him. The light from the lamp makes his eyes look so warm, like pools of honey. Hangyul can’t bear this sight on most days, but now, he feels like his heart will beat out of his chest.

“If it was, will this be okay too?”

This time, Hangyul has some sort of preparation before Wooseok leans in, pressing his lips gently to his. He fights the urge to tense up, instead, he kisses back hesitantly. Wooseok doesn’t rush him, his soft lips like silk against Hangyul’s.

And God, he tastes like peaches, sweet and gentle. Wooseok’s arms wrap around him again, trying to get him closer. Hangyul feels like he’ll die at this moment, die from Wooseok’s lips on his and his fingers slowly tangling into his hair.

When Wooseok pulls away, he finds himself nearly chasing after him. Internally, he chides himself for getting hooked too easily. The other man still has his hands in his hair, tracing little circles into his scalp.

“Does this scare you?” Wooseok asks, looking directly into his eyes. Hangyul wants to shy away from the gaze, but he finds that he can’t.

He takes a deep breath. Yes, it does scare him. More than anything in his life recently.

It scares him because he can’t possibly have him right? He can’t possibly keep Wooseok close like this right? They don’t have much time, and it doesn’t stop ticking away.

Hangyul puts his hands on Wooseok’s waist. He’s so scared of this feeling, and it feels like it will tear him apart if he doesn’t fight it.

“Yes,” he whispers. The fingers in his hair don’t stop, the gentle motions becoming comforting.

The corner of Wooseok’s mouth tugs up. “I know that feeling.”

Tearing his gaze away, Hangyul takes a deep breath. It’s all too much, and yet not enough. A part of him just wants to draw Wooseok close and never let go, to drown in his kisses until he’s delirious, to hold onto him for as long as he possibly can. It hurts, it hurts.

“Gyul?” Wooseok says, drawing Hangyul’s attention back to him. Dammit, why does he have to look so perfect?

“We don’t have to figure anything out yet, okay?” he continues, fixing his gaze onto him again. “Do you remember? We can just be ourselves here. No need to hide, no pressure to be anything. We can be anything we want to be.”

And outside? What will they be outside of this tiny apartment, outside of their little secret?

Pushing his thoughts down, Hangyul leans up to capture Wooseok’s mouth again. He wants it to stay like this, the sweetness and his mind not knowing how to function. Wooseok melts into him, his body coming ever closer, their heartbeats synching flawlessly. His hands guide Hangyul’s to dip under his sweater, letting him feel his warm skin.

Hangyul selfishly wishes that he could always have this.

They stop at some point, Wooseok drowsily clinging onto Hangyul. He shifts their positions until they’re both lying down, Wooseok’s head on his chest. He’s aware that his heartbeat hasn’t calmed down, but it doesn’t seem like the other man minds. Wooseok mumbles a goodnight, and Hangyul says it back.

He stays up for hours, watching as the hints of dawn peek through the tiny window. Hangyul wishes and wishes, to every god out there, that he doesn’t wake up from whatever dream this is.

_ Wooseok-ah _ , he thinks.  _ Don’t be as unreachable as all my other beautiful dreams. _

In the morning, when Wooseok wakes, he finds the bed empty.

**Author's Note:**

> idk i just wanted to write smth comforting but this turned sad towards the end, sorry :((


End file.
